the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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