the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
