Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
