We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
