Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
