chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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