How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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