when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
