Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
