At least make sure they are 18
Why
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize