Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
