Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
