Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
