I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
