It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
