There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
