you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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