Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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