and you said cock pushups were impossible
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
