your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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