FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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