you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize