so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
