Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
