Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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