So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
