bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
