I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
love makes seman taste better
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
