what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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