I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
