I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
