I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
