am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
