New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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