community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
