No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sext me about skeletons
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