I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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