I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
