Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
