I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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