I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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