If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
