So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
