I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
did you just send me my own nude
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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