omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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