I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
