the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
