like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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