We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
