no. you can't hotbox the world.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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