You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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