I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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