Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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