I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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