This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Boobs are out for the taking
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
