I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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