oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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