...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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