Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize