I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
