Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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