Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
