I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
