I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
