just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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