I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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