It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
