I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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