Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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