it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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