Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
