why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
