I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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