Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize