Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
