Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
